Why Does Every Woman Have to Have a Baby?

So after quite a long hiatus due to some unexpected difficulties, I'm back. And here is my question: why is it just expected that every woman in the entire world wants to have a baby? I had a doctor's appointment, and as I was talking to the nurse, I happened to mention that I have a high pain tolerance. Her immediate response?

"Oh, well, that will come in handy when you have a baby!"

When I have a baby? Am I expected to have a baby? Is every woman? This is an issue that I think is deeply understated in feminism today: the expectation that every woman MUST have/want to have children.

Guess what? I hate kids. There, I said it. Kids just aren't my thing. I've never gotten along with anyone my age, and adults have always liked me much better, and they're just who I get along with. Kids, on the other hand, frustrate me because I have absolutely no patience. Why would I have a child if I don't want one?

I'm sure many women feel pressured by their partners to want kids. That's just what comes after marriage. First comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage, right? Wrong. Why can't I get married without all the pressure to have children? I'm sure there are many women who have felt so pressured by their in-laws, parents, and partners to have kids, and now they're unhappy and as a result, so are their children. I refuse to bring a child into an unhappy household.

Immediately after she said that, I responded with, "well, I don't really want to have kids" because - surprise, I don't. And she just said "oh" and continued typing on the computer. Really? Does it make you feel that uncomfortable? My personal preferences about raising children bother you that much? Hey, how about we stop putting pressure on women through social norms?

And yet more importantly, let's stop judging women that may not want the same things as you or the majority of the population. Sound good? Good.

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Terry Richardson: Why is he still around?

So I would like to preface this post by saying if you don't know who Terry Richardson is or you don't know about the shitty things that he's been "accused" of doing, go read this article, which gives you an up to date timeline of what's been going on with this racy photographer for the last 10 years.

Terry Richardson has that stereotypical, pedophilic mustache that can automatically put people off. Not to mention he's a creepy, 48 year old man who photographs young, upcoming models for a living, usually in a racy manner. If that itself doesn't immediately make you feel like you need to take a long, cleansing shower, I don't know what will.

Starting in 2004, people who have worked with him, models and assistants, have been throwing out accusation after accusation, claiming some nasty things that Richardson persuaded them to do, such as "tampon tea". Repulsive. In the entertainment and fashion industry that is oh-so-hard to get into, being a young newcomer makes you eager to please and do whatever's required just to move up. An agent would book a new model to work with Richardson, and when he starts making skeevy demands, she can't exactly say no. She could get dropped by her agency that she worked so hard to get signed with. She could completely ruin her reputation in the modeling world. That's a lot to risk, especially if Richardson is just asking for a quick nip-slip.

I think the most important question that needs to be asked is why is he still such a hot name in the fashion industry and why is he still allowed to work with young (and some even underage) models? Technically, the models that were brave enough to accuse him don't have enough concrete proof to actually build a case against him.

This is just another case similar to the Woody Allen issue. Woody Allen was accused of molesting his adopted daughter (and the daughter of the famous actress, Mia Farrow), Dylan. She suffered unspeakable trauma mentally and was in therapy for a long time following the abuse. Allen lost four court battles about the abuse but was never formally charged because they didn't want to put already traumatized Dylan through anymore than she had already been through. Therefore, he's still one of the most celebrated people in the entertainment industry and continues to work with respected actors. How is that fair? All the evidence points towards his molestation of his adopted daughter, yet he's still a celebrated artist? It is beyond not okay.

There are so many people in the entertainment industry who can practically get away with murder just because they are respected in their field. Anyways- back to Richardson.

In his blog called "Terry's Diary", you can very clearly see that all of the images of the models he's photographed have a pornographic undertone. There are close ups of butts in cheeky shorts and even girls with their tops and bras off. Yet it's considered "art", not pornography.

The bottom line is Richardson needs to be blacklisted as a photographer and given the sexual assault charge he deserves. The fact that all of these people have come forward so bravely, yet have received no restitution says something terrible about the society that we have created and are functioning in today. We live in a society that not only turns a blind eye to sexual assault because of a person's credentials, but we also praise and commemorate them, despite their wrongdoings.

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Stop Hating on the "Prettified" Feminists

A big third-wave feminist issue today is feminists hating on other feminists. To be specific, feminists hating on other feminists for wearing nice clothes or wearing makeup or getting "prettified" so to speak. I am much too into consuming for my own good. I spend a crazy amount of money on makeup and clothes and shoes and hair products and everything in between. I spend hundreds a month on things I very clearly don't need. If it came down to buying myself dinner or buying new lipstick, I would go for the lipstick every time. While this might not align with your priorities, I love makeup and clothes, and I think it's worth it.

I believe that just because I love to buy pretty things and invest in things like makeup and dresses doesn't mean that I don't care about equality for everyone. Those two things aren't even related. My position on equality and my daily makeup routine don't correlate.

An important distinction I would like to make is that I don't dress for anyone else. I don't spend half an hour on my makeup every morning for a boy or a girl. I do it to make myself feel good. If you're putting on a dress and a ton of makeup for someone else, then maybe you should take a look at why that is. But I make a hard effort to make myself look nice everyday because it makes me feel empowered and makes me feel good.

Another aspect of this issue is the idea that feminists shouldn't be sexy because we're supposed to be dressing sexy yet staying pure exclusively for men. You can be sexy all you want. I bought a dress the other day exclusively because it made my boobs look really good. And in turn that makes me feel good about myself. I'm not doing it to 'be sexy' for anyone but myself.

In my opinion, one of the most important factors of feminism is the empowerment of women. Do what you want on your own terms. Dress how you want. Put on as much makeup as you want. Spend as much money on those things as you want (as long as you're not racking up bills). Don't let other people's judgments put you down and stop you from prettifying yourself to perfection.

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