Stop Hating on the "Prettified" Feminists

A big third-wave feminist issue today is feminists hating on other feminists. To be specific, feminists hating on other feminists for wearing nice clothes or wearing makeup or getting "prettified" so to speak. I am much too into consuming for my own good. I spend a crazy amount of money on makeup and clothes and shoes and hair products and everything in between. I spend hundreds a month on things I very clearly don't need. If it came down to buying myself dinner or buying new lipstick, I would go for the lipstick every time. While this might not align with your priorities, I love makeup and clothes, and I think it's worth it.

I believe that just because I love to buy pretty things and invest in things like makeup and dresses doesn't mean that I don't care about equality for everyone. Those two things aren't even related. My position on equality and my daily makeup routine don't correlate.

An important distinction I would like to make is that I don't dress for anyone else. I don't spend half an hour on my makeup every morning for a boy or a girl. I do it to make myself feel good. If you're putting on a dress and a ton of makeup for someone else, then maybe you should take a look at why that is. But I make a hard effort to make myself look nice everyday because it makes me feel empowered and makes me feel good.

Another aspect of this issue is the idea that feminists shouldn't be sexy because we're supposed to be dressing sexy yet staying pure exclusively for men. You can be sexy all you want. I bought a dress the other day exclusively because it made my boobs look really good. And in turn that makes me feel good about myself. I'm not doing it to 'be sexy' for anyone but myself.

In my opinion, one of the most important factors of feminism is the empowerment of women. Do what you want on your own terms. Dress how you want. Put on as much makeup as you want. Spend as much money on those things as you want (as long as you're not racking up bills). Don't let other people's judgments put you down and stop you from prettifying yourself to perfection.

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What's Your Signature Style?

Everyone is constantly labeled: goth, girly, preppy. According to quizzes in Seventeen and Tiger Beat, everyone has to have a signature style. And you absolutely cannot stray from that signature style. I definitely subscribed to this idea when I was growing up. I went through a sporty phase where I wore soccer shorts and my hair in a ponytail every single day. I went through a super girly phase where I wore dresses and heels every single day. According to my style choices now, I'm going through my goth phase because I wear black everyday. Just last week my friend got asked if she was "goth" because she likes to wear all black. Let me just tell you - she and I are just about the least goth people you can meet. We are by no means goth in anyway. 

Why do we force people to conform to these labeled styles? Why can't we just choose to wear what we want to wear everyday? Somedays, I may be feeling a little more grunge with Docs and a flannel; other days, I may be feeling girly and put on a pinafore dress and mary-jane slippers with mice on the toes. I don't want to be forced into a style box where I can't feel free to choose what I want to wear. 

A few months ago, I was in a store with my friend, and I really wanted to buy some more edgy things because I felt like my closet was getting a little too girly for my taste. When I brought this up, she told me, "I don't know, I think you're more girly. I like the way you dress, don't try to be edgy." 

I didn't want to "try to be edgy". I wanted to dress in order to make myself feel beautiful and confident. I don't dress for my friends, I don't dress for men, I don't dress for women, I don't dress for anyone but me. I will dress how I want to dress, and no one can stop me.

Don't force yourself to fit into these conformist boxes and feel like you can only wear certain kinds of clothes because you play sports or you're in theatre; don't conform to these societal labels, unless that's what floats your boat. Do and wear what is going to make you happy and confident and feel beautiful. 

Today, I felt grunge but still a little girly. So why not mix both, right? I'm wearing an oversized long sleeved shirt from Nordstrom, black basic leggings from Nordstrom, a navy and green flannel from Ragstock, cheetah socks from Target, a key necklace from Emily, Dr. Martens from Journeys, and an American Horror Story bow from Etsy.

Don't forget: wear what you feel good in and wear what makes you feel confident. Dress for yourself, and no one else.

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